


Hot Summer Nights, Mid-July

by thats_not_appropriate



Category: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, The Iliad - Homer, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Cliche, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Original Character(s), Summer Camp, Tennis, very cliche
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:00:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thats_not_appropriate/pseuds/thats_not_appropriate
Summary: When Patroclus was signed up for a tennis camp by his father, he didn't know that he was also getting signed up for a relationship with his best friend, and longtime crush Achilles. The only problem, (besides being terrible at tennis), is that it's all fake.also known as "Achilles fake-dates Patroclus to get a pushy bitch off his back." And they're at tennis camp.
Relationships: Achilles/Patroclus of Opus (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Brisies/Helen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey. Please forgive any formatting or spelling errors; i'm on mobile.
> 
> Also this isn't the only chapter!! there's more to come! I just don't know how to work this site :/

I, Patroclus Menoetius, have never been insecure. Sure, maybe in middle school I was a bit gangly, my limbs a bit too long for the rest of my body, but even then I felt no reason to be ashamed. What's that thing make-up artists say? Trust the process? I trusted the process, and the process payed off. I had had a huge growth spurt in the past month, and now, in Mid-July I stood at 5'11, with broad shoulders and strong arms. I had even begun to develop abs, probably thanks to all the swimming I had been doing at the local pool.

No, I've never been insecure, but the tiny, skin-tight booty shorts that my friend Briseis was pulling off the rack for me at our local mall, made me wish I was wearing a full Nun's habit, dispite the sweltering summer heat. 

"Briseis, I don't care if you payed me a million dollars, I can't wear these! I'm blushing just looking at them!"

Briseis laughed and stuck out her tongue at me. "Why not? You'd look amazing in them in my opinion. That's why you brought me here, you said you needed help picking out clothes."

I shook my head and grabbed the shorts from Briseis, placing them back on the rack. "I need athletic clothes Bris. My dad signed me up for some tennis camp at Summerlodge."

Summerlodge was a kind of public country club near my house. It had a pool, some volleyball nets, and most important to my dad, a tennis court. My dad is always pushing me to do things he deems "manly", nevermind me being in decent shape and getting good grades. This time the "manly activity" seemed to be tennis.

Briseis seemed to brighten when I told her I was going to Summerlodge. "Hey, I'm actually going there too! I mean, I'm going for volleyball, but they have afternoon activities we could do together!"

I'll admit, I was happy to hear that I wouldn't be alone at this camp. Suddenly I heard Briseis' phone buzz in her pocket. It was her brother, Alex, telling us that there was a surprise waiting for us when we got back to her house. 

Briseis grinned as she read the message, then looked up at me. "Can you guess what it is?" 

I grinned back at her. "Of course."

Today was the day that our friend Achilles got back from his month long vacation, visiting his mother in France. I felt my heart skip a beat.

I would never tell anyone this, but I had had a crush on Achilles for the longest time. At surface level, it was almost impossible not to. Achilles had this aura about him, a kind of golden gravity that pulled everyone around him in. 

Not me though. When Achilles first walked into my classroom in middle school I could tell right from the start i didn't like him. I could see through his glow, right to the cocky, arrogant boy beneith it. We had our fair share of arguments and altercations, but by the end of 9th grade, Achilles, Briseis and I had become the best of friends. The more we hung out,the more I found myself pulled in to his gravity. If Achilles was the sun, I was his moon, orbiting around him, happy to bask in his glow. 

Briseis and I finished shopping for our clothes and got in her car. In no time at all, we were pushing open her front door, shopping bags in tow, and were almost immediately enveloped in a huge hug.

"Achilles!" Briseis laughed. But instead of a warm welcome from their friend, they heard, "Patroclus, Briseis. I'm doomed."

...

We sat on Briseis' couch, munching on chips and listening to Achilles whine.

"Ok," he began. "So I jad just finished dropping off all of my luggage at my dad's place right? So I started walking here. And on the way here I got a text from Phoebe Rodgers."

I rolled my eyes. Phoebe was a girl at our school who considered herself "popular." She was pretty, she was rich, and most importantly, she was an absolute bitch. A classic mean girl. "What did she want?" I asked. 

Briseis snickered. "Probably asking Achilles if he wants to hook up in the back of her Porshe."

Achilles looked grim. "You're not far off. She asked me if I want to go out with her." I could almost hear the shudder in his voice.

Dispite how disgusted he sounded I could feel my face go a little white. Dispite how bitchy she was, Phoebe's family was rich. Like, rich rich. She had a lot of power around their school. Briseis insisted it was because she bought friends, which Patroclus agreed with, but nevertheless, she could drag Achilles' name and reputation through the mud if he displeased her in some way. 

Also if Achilles dated Phoebe...... I didn't want to think about it. For the first time I felt a little bit insecure.

"What am I gonna dooo??" Achilles moaned. His eyes turned to Patroclus. "Patroclus, man you need to help me. We're gonna be doing lifeguard training together at Summerlodge tomorrow I need a solution,now."

"Just tell her you're taken." Briseis seemed bored with the conversation. "Also me and Patroclus are gonna be going to Summerlodge too isn't that cool?"

Achilles nodded,but his mind still seemed elsewhere. "Who am I gonna tell her i'm dating then? You know she'll ask who." 

Briseis shrugged. "Patroclus could do it."

Patroclus felt all of his blood rush to his face. "W-what? Briseis no-" but neither Briseis nor Achilles payed any attention. In fact, Achilles had a smile spreading slowly across his face.

"Yeah, yeah that could work!" He said, jumping up from where he was sitting and kneeling in front of Patroclus.

"Patroclus, my dear friend," Achilles began, putting on a funny voice and grabbing Patroclus's hand, "will you do me the insurmountable favor of being my fake boyfriend?"

Patroclus's heart was beating out of his chest. He couldn't do this. As much as he wanted to he couldn't, it wouldn't be fair to him or Achilles and-

"Yeah sure." Patroclus sighed. "I'll do it."

Achilles cheered. "My hero!" And then something happened. Achilles took Patroclus's hand and pressed it against his own heart. It was beating very fast. Almost as fast as Patroclus's. "I thank you deeply for your service." 

And then Achilles seemed to realize what he was doing. He dropped Patroclus's hand and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"So you and Brisies are going to Summerlodge too? Cool, so we can all ride there together!" He rubbed the back of his neck, waiting for a response.

Patroclus was still reeling, but fortunately Briseis answered for him. This was going to be a long 2 weeks of camp.


	2. Chapter 2

Briseis's car pulled up outside of Patroclus's house the next morning. Achilles was already in the back.

"Hey boyfriend." He grinned at me, as if we were in on some big joke, as if he didn't make my stomach drop down to my knees every time he looked my way. Briseis rolled her eyes in the drivers seat. 

"Y'know you guys don't have to pretend yet. Phoebe isn't here." 

She was right, Patroclus realized. But Achilles just grinned some more. "Hey it's fun. Isn't it Pat?"

I sighed and shook my head in disbelief, climbing into the passenger seat. Achilles got serious. 

"Pat, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I can find another way to deal with Phoebe." 

Pat shook his head again."It's fine Achilles. I'm not worried about it." I met his eyes. "You owe me so big though."

Achilles looked relieved. "Good, because I already texted Phoebe saying we're together. She's probably gonna meet us outside Summerlodge to confirm it."

Sure enough, Patroclus spotted the tall, thin figure of Phoebe Rodgers leaning against the Summerlodge sign as Brisies pulled into the parking lot. 

Finally, Patroclus got a little panicked. He had been so in shock about being Achilles's fake boyfriend that he hadn't thought about how Phoebe, the ultimate powerful bitch, would react to Patroclus dating someone she wanted.

Achilles seemed to notice his discomfort and placed a warm hand on Patroclus's shoulder. "Don't worry about her Pat." As simple as it was, Patroclus found himself being comforted by his words.

They got out of the car, and Briseis waved goodbye as she went to change for her Volleyball camp. Leaving Achilles and Patroclus alone with Phoebe. 

She was already walking up to them. "Hi Achilles." 

Her voice was low, almost sensual as she talked to Achilles. Absently, Patroclus wondered if she was faking it. 

"Hey Phoebe." Achilles sounded friendly, but Patroclus could tell he was being distant. He spoke to Phoebe with a cool detachment, as if he was above her. "This is my boyfriend Patroclus."

Slowly, Phoebe turned her ice-blue eyes on Patroclus. She looked him over, and Patroclus watched her eyes narrow.

"Patroclus. I remember you. I thought you moved away in middle school." 

Patroclus bristled a bit, but Achilles stepped in before Patroclus could reply to Phoebe's snide comment.

"Well he didn't. Lucky for me. Anyways we should get going." He grabbed Patroclus's hand and started to walk away. But before they could get inside, Patroclus heard a car pull up behind them and a voice call out.

"Hello Patroclus!" It was Holly, Patroclus's old friend from elementary school. Once middle school had started Phoebe had latched on to her, and they had drifted, but that didn't stop Holly from being as friendly as possible. 

She stopped as she reached Phoebe's side and gave Patroclus a happy wave. Hesitantly, Patroclus returned it.

Phoebe greated her friend, and then looked over to the boys with narrowed eyes "Holly I was just about to tell Achilles and Patroclus what a cute couple they are. Don't you think they're cute?"

Patroclus felt a sense of apprehension creep up his back. He could tell Phoebe was up to something. But Holly gasped, delighted. "You two are a couple? I had no idea!"

"Yeah, uh it's new." Patroclus shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Really." Phoebe raised her eyebrows. "When did you two get together?"

"Wednesday." Patroclus said, at the same time Achilles said "Monday."

Patroclus blanched. It was over. Phoebe was going to figure them out. But Achilles was talking their way out of it. 

"I asked him out on Monday but he didn't say yes until Wednesday."

"Oh. How cute." Phoebe looked at them suspiciously.  
"How did you ask Achilles?"

Patroclus felt Achilles's shoulders tense. "I just asked. It wasn't that big of a deal. Let's go Pat." 

Phoebe stopped them by wrapping her arms around Achilles's shoulders. She met Patroclus's eyes and smirked, and dispite himself, Patroclus felt a rush of jealousy.

"C'mon 'Chilles. Is there some reason you don't want to tell us?" Phoebe purred.

With a jolt, Patroclus realized Phoebe knew they were lying. He had to come up with some kind of story. 

Pulling Achilles away from Phoebe's grip, Patroclus began talking. It wasn't a big deal. He had imagined the moment Achilles would ask him out for almost a year now. 

"Well it was Monday night. I was out for a run, and when I got to Achilles' place he was sitting on the porch. His dad wasn't home, so he invited me in and I took a shower at his place. We've done it before. We hung out for a bit after I was done, and I think  
I was laughing at a joke he made when he just.... leaned over and kissed me. Then he told me he'd liked me for a while and asked me to go out with him. I was so shocked that I just left. And then I said yes on Wednesday."

Holly squealed when I finished, and Phoebe just rolled her eyes. Achilles was looking at me with wide eyes. I couldn't place his expression. I decided to let it go.

"Weird how you didn't just say yes right away."

Achilles seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in at Phoebe's words. "The important thing is that he did say yes." He wrapped his arm around Patroclus's waist. "Now can we please go get changed?" 

"Whatever." Phoebe scoffed. "Don't get to wild in the locker room. Let's go Holly."

Patroclus blushed at Phoebe's words, and as he glanced up at Achilles, he thought he saw that his ears were a bit red too. But then Achilles turned his head towards Patroclus and he lost sight of it. It could've been from the sun. Patroclus let it go.

"Patroclus that was amazing! I wish I could've thought of something that quickly!"

Patroclus smiled at the praise. " It was no big deal." Suddenly he realized Achilles still had his arms around his waist.

Achilles noticed as well. "Uhm." He cleared his throat awkwardly and let go. "Sorry." He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I got a little carried away." 

"I-its fine." If it was possible for Patroclus's face to get any redder, it did.

Suddenly, Achilles grinned. "Do you think she fell for it boyfriend?"

Slowly Patroclus felt a smile grow across his face. "Probably. But that girl is so used to getting everything her way I doubt she'll give up any time soon."

"That's ok." Achilles began walking to the door of the building, calm and cool. "It's pretty fun watching her try to cat-fight with you.

Patroclus laughed then sighed softly. As funny as it was, Phoebe was no joke. She wanted Achilles, and right now, Patroclus was the only thing in her way.


End file.
